Wednesday, December 9, 2009

hallway signs.

if my entire life just becomes one big failure, i want my last words to get me known. it may just be better that way anyway. you know me...never wanting that negative attention, always hiding from the world, always hating people i don't even know, being afraid of everything that can move. 


there's people who's last words are laughed at.
there's people who's last words are repeated daily.
there's people who's last words are worshiped.

i just want something that will get me remembered for who i am. 
hated. loved. 
what the fuck ever.


i don't see myself growing up. i see myself in this state i am now, forever. i don't see myself changing. i can't imagine being anyone besides who i am this second.


but knowing that i am going to have to change sometime terrifies me. 


i never realized it until now, but growing up to be something i hate terrifies me.



then again, lots of things terrify me.

the WORLD terrifies me.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

love addict.

i am too tired for words.
if you're wondering what i'm thinking,
i don't know.

everything just
keeps fall
ing do
wn 
.

justdontletgo.

Friday, December 4, 2009

the various definitions of close, no one, and love.

no one wants to whisper "i love you" when you walk away.
no one wants to cry and scream when you say goodnight.
no one wants to be alone when you're at a party.
no one wants to have no one when you have everyone.
no one wants to call and have no one answer.
no one wants to be the loner.

but soon, everyone you are involved with turns into no one.
everyone else is a no one, except for 'the one'.


oh my beautiful boy, i'm afraid this is goodbye.
she would never let me crash and burn.
especially when you're the pilot.


(to love and to be loved)
let's just hope she's enough.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

formspring.me

Be mine?

i'm already yours (:

Can goldfish fly?

if they have wings.

Baby,get shaky after school?;D

duh. ;D

Why do we like to hurt so much?

this is obviously tazz.

do i know what you did last summer? ;)

most likely, no. XD

I think you have beautiful eyes...

thank you<3

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Be mine?

i'm already yours. (;

Can goldfish fly?

if they have wings.

Baby,get shaky after school?;D

duh. ;D

Why do we like to hurt so much?

this has got to be tazz. XD

do i know what you did last summer? ;)

more than likely, no. rofl.

Ask me anything

Monday, November 30, 2009

will she still believe it when she's dead?

there's a booming silence, hanging in the air, like the feeling a mute gets when he has something to say. there's a box of explosives, laying under the bed, just waiting for fire and movement. there's an old movie, hiding in the closet, with a secret repeating in it's film. 


but there's no one to listen.
no one to stop.
no one to start.
the catastrophe.


except for me.


the road to war is full of traffic and we're stuck amidst the fight. seize the gunpowder. the liars are coming. what happens when the battles just hurt the wound more?


the shot was heard round the world.


so, when is the change?

that was the sweetest thing i ever read.

i promise you that i do not hate you and i don't think i ever could if i tried. i understand how you feel - afraid that the person you want so much will hate you if they know - so i can't tell you not to be scared of that, it's just natural, but i can try and assure you that i won't hate you. you are amazing, really. you may be the best friend i have ever been blessed with. you have never once hurt me. you are so unique, and i know that may seem like a bad thing sometimes, but i don't think so. i love you to PIECES. you are beautiful, you are SO FUCKING TALENTED, you are smart and hilarious and caring. i really don't know if i could have survived the end of last summer without you to make me laugh. reading that blog of yours made me cry! i hate seeing any of my friends upset, especially over me, so i'm sorry about that ): i really don't even know what to say. i'm not as good as a friend as you think i am, but i appreciate your kind words. i never ever want to hurt you and you are the better out of the two of us. i hate when you put yourself down because i see past your flaws. i find you GORGEOUS and just really..amazing. i don't know how to describe it, which is new for me. you're so special to me and i'm glad i'm special to you too.